No Girls Allowed

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Ahhhhhh....quiet. That's what I just wrote on my Facebook status. All four of my boys left yesterday on their annual "no girls allowed" Labor Day weekend pilgrimage. I can't recall having this much silence since June 17th. It is absolutely heavenly.

The past 12 weeks have been a long, hot, trying summer. In the past I had planned to have at least one week where everyone was at camp or farmed out somewhere. A shortage of cash prevented this from happening and there were no breaks to be had. Now that the kids are older I envisioned them riding their bikes to friends' houses or the lake so I could enjoy a couple hours with an empty house. Instead, they would bring their friends back here because ours is "that house". Sometimes I really don't want to be "that house". Know what I mean?

I am not proud of the mom I have been to my kids or the wife I have been to my husband. I have often referred to this season as the "summer of breaking". I could swear to you that once a week I heard a crash followed by: "Um, Mom??" Collisions seemed to be happening all over the place. Windows and basketballs. Children and screen doors. Ceiling fans and shoes. Next-door-neighbor's glass deck paneling and a bb pellet. (Don't ask!) Add to this the garbage disposal backing up, the oven refusing to heat and a garage door that only half of which wants to close. And all of this was happening while the house was under contract!! Just to make you laugh--and embarrass myself--here is a picture of my response the last time I was told something broke. Quinn was actually joking just to snap this photo of me. Lovely, huh?

Yet in all of these mishaps I have realized (over the last 24 hours, when in the absence of children and a husband, I've become the perfect wife and mom) that God has been breaking me. Breaking me of selfishness. Control. Lack of trust. Negativity. And He has shown me that all this time my prayers have actually been answered. I was beginning to be concerned that my middle schooler's social life was overtaking him and some not-so-positive influences were rearing their ugly heads. I feared he would start making some of the unsavory choices I did when I was his age. I was worried that I'd made a mistake by letting everyone have their own bedrooms. Would this encourage even more selfishness ? Maybe it has really been a blessing that they haven't spent much time outside of our home. Perhaps, in spite of the turbulent teeenage years closing in, they really do like being together. And by not having the ability to buy them everything they want or send them to camps and sporting events, they have been creative in their playtime--even if it has ended up in some costly repair bills.

No offense to my friends with daughters, but this is one weekend I am glad to be the only girl.

1 Comment »

One Response to “No Girls Allowed”

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

That was a great post of self reflection... I felt a similar way this Summer in that I didn't have a lot of breaks... and then I went right into homeschooling and feel myself going into some selfish phase of thinking, "When do I get to have just some alone time?" Yeah... I'm working on tamping that one down a bit... It's not like I didn't CHOOSE this...

I hate it when the "Ugly" rears its head in my life... dangit.

I might need a weekend like you're having to get that good self reflection. And become the perfect wife and mother too... :)