It's been 12 days since the school year began and, thankfully, we seem to be on the other side of the adjustment period. At the end of week one I started to fret about my own upcoming school year. Originally I registered for one 5 credit class online and one 5 credit class on campus. The plan was to attend class MWF and work on Tuesday and Thursday. Two weeks ago I learned that I do not qualify for financial aid--of any kind. I hoped that once I was officially admitted to a "higher learning institution", and I submitted our (pathetic) 2009 tax return, that the rest would be history. Apparently not. That would be too easy. Because I am not following a traditional course of action, i.e.: pursuing an AA or other "approved" program that even a student loan was not an option. Sigh.

I find it quite ironic that I worked all the way through pursuing my Bachelor's, stayed home for most of the last 13 years and am now back in the workforce again as I return to school. When I went back to work it was simply to help with the increasing grocery bill and never-ending sports' costs. Little did I know that the day I started this job I would also be applying to the college of education. I added some more hours this summer (bad idea) to cover tuition. As I looked at the cost of 10 credits, the boys' sports schedule and my work schedule I knew something had to give. My dear friend Julie asked me "what's the hurry? The important part is that you are pursuing your dream. There doesn't need to be a timeline on this." Such profound words and yet so simple. Why was I putting this pressure on myself to get out in a certain period of time? Those voices from 20 years ago have been haunting me since I started down this path. I am not 20 years old. My parents are not footing the bill. I know what I want but I also have a family who needs me to be present during this season. And the reality is that I can't earn enough part-time to cover a full load the next two quarters.

I knew what I needed to do. I went to the computer, logged on to the college's website and deleted the on-campus class. Immediately, a weight lifted off my shoulders and peace flooded my heart. Julie is right. I don't need to be in a hurry. But I do need to keep the momentum of my summer quarter success (I got an "A"!) and not be distracted by all the responsibilities--both real and self-imposed.

Here's to Fall quarter 2010.