On the move again: Chapter Two

Thursday, December 3, 2009

I just couldn't believe we were back in the same place: looking for another house to call "home." For me the aspect I dreaded the most was, once again, having our current challenge on display for all to see. After all the employment upheaval over the last two years I was beginning to feel like a modern day Job. Living in a small community makes privacy of any sort a challenge. Add to that a series of visible trials and you can forget about going unnoticed. Putting a for sale sign in the yard of a house that backs up to a busy street didn't help. Now I was living in another house on a neighborhood's main street with, not only, a "for sale" sign but one with a big fat red "SALE PENDING" added to it. Not only did I feel like the trials were never ending, others were also willing to remind me of that fact. I started to feel like we had done something to deserve this.

I spent the next few days hiding from life and wrestling with God. I was not only sad I was angry. Why did my "stuff" have to be so visible? I just can't take the comments and questions all over again. I can't put a happy spin on this one more time. Can't my struggle be an eating disorder or some other addiction that no one knows about? Yet as I asked I already knew the answer: NO! Yet, along with "no" came "let me walk through this with you. My yoke is easy and my burden is light."

I eventually left my cocoon and felt somewhat excited about what was in store. Not the packing part. Not the transferring utilities. Not the sheer exhaustion from relocating a family of five and all their worldly possessions. But the anticipation of what God was going to do and how our prayers would be answered. Once I got my junk out there with Him, I knew there was something bigger going on behind the scenes and I wasn't the main character. This wasn't just about me.

As I sat at the computer screen with my new best friend, Craigslist, I got a call from my friend Ann. This girl has many gifts but the one I love the most is how spiritually tuned in she is to God. I won't go so far as to say she is "prophetic" because I don't know enough about that gift but when she is prompted, it's always right on the money. Here's what she had to say:

"Hey, I don't have much time but I needed to tell you I had a dream about you last night. A bunch of people were at your house and there was a gun on the bookshelf. All of us were talking about it and wondering if it was loaded and if you and Trey knew it was there, etc. You were both acting so casual that you had a gun in your house. Next thing we knew, there was a gunshot outside and someone had shot your dog, Millie. You guys went out there and bandaged her up, brought her inside and went about talking to your guests. A few minutes later Ben came in the house with a gunshot wound straight through his hand. Trey just shrugged and said "Here we go again." He took care of the wound, set Ben back outside and rejoined a conversation. At that point I woke up and the verse that I immediately thought of was: 'no weapon formed against you will prosper.' This is not gonna take you down. You guys are going to be fine. Gotta go."

That night I looked up the verse she shared with me. It was Isaiah 54:17. Specifically it says: "It is I who have created the destroyer to work havoc; no weapon forged against you will prevail and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me." Can you say "wow?" It gets better. I went all the way back to the first verse and was blown away. Here are a few verses that jumped out at me: v. 4: "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated......." v. 11-13: "O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted. I will build you with stones of turquoise, your foundations with sapphires. I will make your battlements of rubies, your gates of sparkling jewels, and all your walls of precious stones. All your sons will be taught by the Lord, and great will be your children's peace."

As I reread this I realized He was describing a house. A house that He builds. Not one that we do. I began to have a feeling that this relocation was not going to happen the conventional way.