A week of promotions

Friday, July 5, 2013

As the 2012-13 school year came to a close, I was thinking about how the ending of the academic calendar marked a promotion of sorts for each of the students in our family.  As of June 19, we now have one middle school student; one high school freshman; one high school junior; and one middle school teacher intern. 


I'll start with the new 6th grader.  We moved Ben to a private Christian school at the beginning of his third grade year.  It wasn't exactly what he wanted to but we felt strongly that's where we were being led to send him.  Each year got better and better and although he missed his public school friends, he thrived spiritually and academically.  Our plan all along was that he would return to public school when he finished his elementary years and once the transfer request was granted (we had moved out of the boundary for the middle school the older boys attended) we knew this was the path we'd stay on.  At his current school, they hold an awards assembly each trimester where the students are given honors and high honors academic awards and 4-5 students in each class receive a character award as determined by their teacher.  They don't know who is getting one but I did get a call from the school that Ben was receiving one this time around and they would really like us to be there.  As he was called up to the stage, his teacher announced: "Ben is receiving an award for his humility.  He is good at so many things but never lets you know it."  It's so true.  Oh how I hope and pray he will always be known for having a humble heart.




Ian survived a very trying 8th grade year--in fact I could say the same about 7th grade.  Although he's not a big fan of school, he made the most of his days and worked hard at the subjects that don't come easy to him.  The biggest challenge was having the majority of his teachers be those who had a good 50 years on their students.  Three generations is way too much of  a gap when teaching today's teenagers.  It can be done but only with a young-at-heart spirit and a great sense of humor.  Unfortunately, "everyone else" seemed to get those teachers.  But, he soldiered through and his wit and charm carried him through although we have yet to see his report card.  The whole family came to town to celebrate this much loved kiddo at the 8th grade celebration and I even got him to don a tie for the occasion.  High school, here he comes!




Quinn is now on the other side of the dreaded sophomore year.  I wish I was warned.  Of course, during the year, those with juniors or seniors would tell me: "Oh yeah, sophomore year is the worst."  Taking a rigorous courseload, playing sports and not having parents that handed everything to him, made for a regularly disgruntled young man.  We went from him oversharing everything as a freshman to being very tight lipped  from the first week of school through the last.  Becoming a licensed driver was a highlight and getting a car at the end of May did produce a few more smiles than we were used to seeing which was a nice change.  A few soccer goals helped too.  Here's to hoping the junior year is as positive like we've heard it will be.



I felt bad that Trey was once again being excluded from the mix when a nice surprise came out of left field.  Just before Ben's end of the year awards assembly, he had a conference call where he was given a promotion that we never thought would happen this side of heaven--or at least with this current employer. 
If you know much of Trey's story, then you also know that the professional side of his life has been full of frustration, disappointment, elusive job satisfaction and many gaps of unemployment.  In his current position, he has been passed over for an obvious promotion not once but twice.  It made no sense whatsoever and to anyone on the outside--or inside.  But he firmly believed he was not released from his current assignment so plugged away and continued to give it his all. I'm beyond thrilled for him that his talents and loyalty have been recognized and will finally be put to use.





A great way to kick off the summer!
 

COMMENTS: »

Ending on a high note

Friday, May 31, 2013

A week from today this campus life will be in the record books.  Last quarter, I seriously contemplated throwing in the towel.  Every single Monday, Wednesday and Friday I dreaded going to class.  And when I wasn’t in class, I thought about how much I dreaded going back to campus.  The professors were downers, the subjects were somber and I had to leave my house at zero dark thirty. Being that I’m someone who loves to laugh—a lot-- spending my time sitting in a classroom discussing serious, pointless, depressing issues with unengaged people sucked the life right out of me.  It felt like a huge waste of time and money.  That was then.  This is now.

Nine weeks ago, as I went through the familiar routine of first class meetings, reading through the syllabus and the obligatory “getting to know each other” icebreakers, it felt like quarter one all over again.  Both of my professors were vibrant and positive.  The courses were vital to launching me into my fall internship and my classmates were enthusiastic and fun loving.  The icing on the cake was being paired up with a cooperating teacher for my high school practicum (40 hours in a classroom setting where teaching two lessons is required) who has a similar story.  Like me, she went back to school for her teaching certificate in her early 40’s after staying home with her 4 kids for 15 years.  She’s been teaching English for the last four years and I’m in awe of what I’ve learned under her wings.  We have so much fun together.

And while I’m on a roll, one other perk: Just two weeks into the quarter, I noticed how I was coming home and sharing story after story about how much fun I was having with two of my classmates, Maddie and Jeremy.  Not only are they two of the nicest people you’ve ever met but they crack me up for 4 straight hours every Tuesday and Thursday. We banter together and mock each other (my love language) as if we all came from the same family. Their weekly presence has made me realize how much I was lacking joy and laughter in my life for the previous 3 months.  Jeremy is like a roving P.E. teacher with his minivan full of sports equipment.  In between classes, he's usually outside gathering a crowd to toss the frisbee around.  At the end of class, he'll talk a few of us into a game of pickleball.  Maddie is 24 with a maturity beyond her years.  She does improv on the side so it's no wonder she keeps me in stitches.  Not knowing much about either of us except that we both want to teach middle school English, our professor teamed us up to teach 5 lessons together at the high school.  She was a natural and I mostly let her make me look good.  

Finally, the last item to check off my list before being launched into the public school classroom is a student teaching placement for the fall.  That official email came 10 days ago.  I’ll be at a middle school just 3 miles away from my house in a 6th grade Language Arts classroom.  My cooperating teacher is a lovely lady just a couple years shy of retirement.  I was in her class twice a week from January through May last year and we got along famously.  After spending the last two months with high school juniors, and confirming that age group is not for me, I am so excited to get back to a younger crowd.  


Here’s to ending on a high note!!!


I adore this two young'ns!

COMMENTS: »

Quelci: one year later

Sunday, May 26, 2013


When someone learns my sophomore son has a girlfriend, I'm always asked the same two questions: "Do you like her?" and "How long have they been dating?" My answers: "Yes" and  "One year today."  That's a long time in high school.

I really want to write a detailed post all about when they met, how it's been as a mom watching her son become smitten, and all the qualities I like about Kelci but I'm still treading on thin ice with regard to my interest in Quinn's personal life.  I never thought I would be more irritating to him in high school than I was in middle school but that's the status of our relationship these days.  I don't want to risk adding more fuel to the fire therefore, I will refrain from saying anything more than I thought it was really cute when, after they hit the 6-month mark, my girlfriend asked "Is it time to start calling them 'Quelci'?"  Just like Brangelina or Bennifer. Get it?  Of course I don't say it in front of them but now that we're at the one-year anniversary, I think they've crossed over into the one-name category whether they know it or not.

Happy Anniversary, you two!

COMMENTS: »

Jr. Ski to Sea

Monday, May 20, 2013


Yesterday marked the end of an era in the Carpenter household: our last Junior Ski to Sea race in the elementary school division—and what a way to finish!  Ben and his teammates pulled off a first place win in the boys’ division but none of it came without a few glitches.  The race consists of 5 legs: a bike, run, three-legged race, soccer dribble and obstacle course.  This event is a big deal in our community and an even bigger deal if you’re the youngest brother in a family of competitors.  Most kids start in February deciding on their team name, the t-shirt design and who will take each leg. To be honest, the one thing I do dread every year is the question: “which parent wants to take care of the shirts??”  Fortunately, Will (our biker) secured a sponsor for the team.  A local biking apparel retailer—a huge shout out to Disidual!) agreed to furnish the boys with t-shirts, sweatpants, beanies and sunglasses in exchange for a team photo.  I’d say they got quite a bit of publicity while the boys waited on the podium.
At last year’s race, “The Hot Rods” took 3rd place and were determined to finish out 5th grade as the reigning champs.  But it did not look too promising at the beginning.  Our runner was in 5th place as he handed off to the three-legged team.  These boys lost their Velcro ankle strap at least 4 times before they could gain any momentum.  They made up for it by the time they handed off to the biker.  While waiting to see the our biker dismount and hand off to Ben, a girl came out of nowhere and was easily 2 minutes ahead of the next competitor.  We figured they had no chance of placing at this point—until we learned she was part of a co-ed team.  Along came 3 other boys to take off dribbling their soccer ball down the field.  Lo and behold, Ben appeared and passed all 3 of them just in time to hand off to Bryan who would finish it off with the obstacle course.  Bryan’s bad case of nerves caused two puking pit stops both up and down the stairs.  Not to be deterred by a little vomit, he pushed through and was the second participant to ring the bell.
After the medal ceremony, we were making the hike back to our car when Ben’s proud grandma said, “All 3 of my grandsons were on a first place team in Junior Ski to Sea.”  When we got home and announced the results to Ian, he reminded us, “my team got first in 4th AND 5th grades so I have more swag!”   Such a supportive brother. 
I tried to dig up old photos from past year’s races and all I could find was a page in Ian’s scrapbook from 4th grade—so his claim really is true.  I took a snapshot of the article and photo with my phone.  I also found a past post with the event brochure that had Ben obscurely placed in the lower right corner when he was 6 years old. 
Regardless of what place they came in, I love the community support as we all cheer our kids on in the spirit of low stakes competition.  It’s a win-win for everyone.  Well done, Team Disidual!

Ian's Team Lemon Lime 2009



COMMENTS: »

Thankful

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

This morning I received a text from my friend Katie giving me an update on a situation we were praying about yesterday.  She is such a prayer warrior and one of the first people I think of contacting when I am in crisis.  (I'm sure she appreciates that title.)  I love that part of our friendship that has spanned the last 20+ years.  When I wrote her back, I suggested we list those things we are thankful for and share them with each other.  When we are in the midst of crisis, it's so easy to lose sight of those things.  Within minutes of my suggestion, I got 3 texts filled with all the blessings Katie is counting and holding onto while she waits for answers.  I was so encouraged.  I sat in Target parking lot this morning and sent my list back to her.  As I was driving home, I thought "I should post this on Facebook or my blog."  So here's what I have so far.........


  • No matter what our financial state is, we have always been blessed with a great vacation every single year for the last 20 years. 
  • A relentless hope that buoys me in the midst of the storms.
  • The resources for my boys to be able to enjoy soccer, mountain biking, snowboarding and skiing.
  • Our parents are still healthy as they age.
  • A faithful mentor that loves me unconditionally, constantly affirms me and challenges me in my walk with God.
  • Deep, lasting friendships.
  • Health and energy to be active and enjoy life.
  • A husband that fathers intentionally and dies to himself to provide his family's needs (and wants.)
  • A home and property that blesses my family and my community.
What's on your list????  There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for!

1 Comment »

Unimaginable

Sunday, April 21, 2013



I have such a longing for my posts to be brimming with hope, joy and a positive outlook.  I try to be a "glass is half full" person as much as possible.  I've noticed that when I'm not feeling overly optimistic or hopeful, I withdraw--from people, from connection, and from my own family.  And I am silent in most areas of life.  Those who know me well, know when something is up because of my silence.  I'm pretty predictable that way.  But, in an effort to be authentic, I am getting on here and sharing my heart in spite of my desire to hide.

I am in one of those seasons where the blows keep coming.  There hasn't been much of a respite for a while.  I truly believe that when you step into your glory and walk closer to true freedom, the enemy will step it up.  As I get closer to my calling, the heat has been turned up on my confidence and faith. When I reflect on times in my past where the pain has felt unbearable, I remember that the heat is always turned up the highest before a huge blessing unfolds.  I am trying to hang onto that memory to sustain me in this current valley.

If you're familiar at all with the story of our move back in September and all the miracles that took place  during that time, then you may remember the verse I clung to back then.  When I was in the midst of despair and losing hope that we'd ever have a happy ending, God did more than we could have ever asked or imagined. (Eph. 3:20)  At this juncture I'm feeling the same way.  And, like back in September, I have had a new verse show up time and time again. It's on the picture at the beginning of this post.  I hope that very soon I will be on the other side of this and can look back and rejoice over how yet another one of His promises to me has come true. Clinging to hope.

COMMENTS: »

Selfishness

Wednesday, April 10, 2013




If I ever have to answer the question "what is your biggest pet peeve?"  Almost without hesitation, I will say: "selfishness" or "narcissism".  They essentially mean the same thing--an obsession with getting one's own needs met.  It rears its ugly head in me more than I care to admit but I happen to have married someone and birthed people who have no problem bringing it to my attention when they see it--and vice versa.  This is both a blessing and a curse.

I come from a long line of narcissists so it's a trait I have battled against most of my adult life.  Extreme selfishness caused my immediate family to be irretrievably broken--and the family preceding ours, too.  Sometimes I know I can go overboard on my quest to not repeat that pattern in my own family of five.  My kids roll their eyes when I start in on my observations about how our culture has become so "me obsessed" that common courtesy and thoughtfulness are virtually obsolete.  I've been known to come down on their friends for calling me by my first name, not saying hello to me when they come in our house or just having plain old bad manners.  Boy, does this go over well on the popularity meter.  Not.

It really does concern me that we live in a society that is not other-centered.  And look where it has taken us.  I can really get down in the dumps (and bitter) if I spend too much time thinking about this.  This afternoon I was having a little complaint session with God about this very subject while I walked down the driveway to the mailbox.  Inside, I immediately spotted a large envelope addressed to me with a stamp on it. (this usually means its not a bill) The return address was a P.O. Box.  Hmmmmm. I tore open the envelope and found a beautiful thank you note with a gift card enclosed.  I have recently found myself in the middle of a very heartbreaking custody situation between a couple I love very much.  The card was from the dad with these words inside: "Thanks for being you.  This is a small token of our appreciation for how much you have helped us through this extremely difficult time."   I was humbled and blown away.  Just when I was ready to thrown humanity down the drain, God swoops in and reminds me that, one: all that I do, I do unto Him not others and two: kindness and thoughtfulness still exist.  And they come from the most unexpected places.

COMMENTS: »

Second chances

Monday, April 1, 2013

Not only is my social media fast over but so is my short-lived spring break--just as the boys' is getting started.  Thankfully, this will be the last time we won't share this vacation. Tomorrow marks the last 10 weeks until I get to be in an actual classroom teaching.  I remember when I was contemplating this endeavor 3 years ago.  I knew I was being called to take this path but I honestly didn't think I could do it.  I've never been good at sticking with something from start to finish--or I simply don't start as to avoid the "not finishing" part.  Over the break, I had high hopes of all the tasks I was going to accomplish.  After day 2, I was already feeling burned out and realized I hadn't given myself time to rest.  As I looked at my list of house projects, I found myself paralyzed and overwhelmed.  Where was this coming from?  Why was it so hard for me to simply move forward?

As I contemplated why I was struggling, I came to a couple conclusions.  One, I hate wasting anything: time, money, energy, etc.  Oftentimes, I spend a lot of  hours perusing ideas online or in magazines, gathering supplies, choosing paint colors and buying materials only to have the project be a total disaster.  Because I can't get that time or money back, I beat myself up over all that was wasted. Second, I have believed that I have to get everything right the first time. If I don't think I will do it perfectly with the time and conditions set before me, I won't do it.  I put such high expectations on myself and then make excuses as to why it won't work. And yet, time still passes, whether I choose to move forward or not.

Suddenly, I realized something very profound that tied into what I was wrestling with.  Both of the books I chose to read over my break had the exact same theme: second chances.  I always say that the attribute of God I love the most is that He is a god of restoration.  And restoration is about second chances, and third, and fourth chances too!  The first book was a fictional story involving a couple who separated, their only child who chose a hard path after her parents' marriage dissolved, and the way God orchestrated the events of their lives to restore all their relationships.  The second one was about a popular Christian music artist whose first wife died 100 days after their wedding from ovarian cancer.  He endured pain greater than a young husband would ever expect and three years later, he was given a second chance at love and family.  He's now married with three beautiful children and a thriving music ministry. 

I don't have to get it right the first time.  Nothing is wrong with trying but when the result isn't what I hoped it would be, I don't have to let that stop me from taking risks with my future endeavors.  And I have to remind myself that if it had, I wouldn't be sitting here packing my bookbag and preparing for my final quarter of classes.  Three years ago, I remember saying to a very wise friend, "But I'll be 46 by the time I'm done."  To which she replied, "You can be 46 with a teaching certificate or not but you'll still be 46 in 3 years."  I love second chances!

COMMENTS: »

My Social Media Fast

Friday, March 15, 2013

Hi friends,

As you can see, my blog site has been under construction.  I've been working with a lovely woman, Jana, to redesign my digs.  It was time for an update and I love the new look.  This is part of the reason for my absence over the last month.  Another factor was my fast from social media for the Lenten season.  The Catholic in me always resurfaces during this time of year and I find it very cleansing to take 40 days away from something of which I regularly indulge.

 My main motivation for this was the realization that Facebook had become such a time waster for me.  I could find myself scrolling through my newsfeed many times a day: while on the bus, waiting to pick up one of the boys and when procrastinating on my homework.  And depending on what kind of day I was having, it wasn't the best place to fix my gaze--or my soul. There were several other factors contributing to suspending my page:  First, I  began noticing that I'd be in a conversation with someone and it seemed like every time I shared something, the other party's response was: "I know.  I saw that on Facebook."  There were no surprises and left my interactions with others flat.  Second, I was always second guessing every post I felt tempted to write. I never felt like I could share that I was traveling somewhere without worrying someone who lived there would see it and I'd soon be confronted about not letting them know I was in their town. (even though 9 times out of 10 they had never been to my town.)  Or a friend or family member might hear from another Facebook friend about some family news and they would be hurt that they didn't hear it from me directly.  (It felt like I was always doing damage control there.)  Third, and the saddest reason of all  is the perception others have of the depth of their relationship with me simply because they're privvy to my status updates or can view my photos.  These reasons took the fun out of what could be a great way to keep in touch with those who I don't see on a regular basis--or check up on my kids.   So, in a nutshell, it was time for a reset and a break from the pressure while I try to figure out how to bridge that gap between this social media outlet, time management and reality.  It has been so refreshing and though I'll probably return, it will be definitely be a modified version of my previous self.

Although I don't see my personal blog as much of a social media outlet for myself, just decreasing my time in front of electronics has been a natural progression from suspending my Facebook profile page.

And since Lent isn't officially over, I better sign off.  I'll be back.

COMMENTS: »

It's been a long time coming

Monday, February 18, 2013

If you have known me, or read my blog for some time, then you are intimately familiar with the frustration I've felt in having three boys who love "being boys"  but have been constantly told that their behavior is not acceptable.  Unfortunately, for the past 10 years, we have lived in neighborhoods where there has always been at least one, or 10, neighbors who complained every time one of the boys did anything that they considered risky or with the potential to disturb their quiet surroundings or, even worse, the environment. This really took its toll on me and my kids.  It got to the point where they never wanted to go outside for fear of a tongue lashing over something as simple as skateboarding.  (I'm really not kidding.)

This past weekend, I sat with such satisfaction and watched all four of my boys embrace their love of big machines,being outdoors, working with their hands and bodies and accomplish a great task together.  And no one came knocking on the door or walking down the driveway to express their concern that "he might get hurt" or "do you have a permit for that equipment?"  In fact, our neighbor across the street did come over and express how much he enjoyed watching our boys enjoy the property during the last few months since we took up occupancy. This was definitely a first! Another neighbor came over and told us how professional our work looked and wondered if we had done this before. I thought to myself: now this has been a long time coming.  I can't explain the pure joy on my sons' faces as they watched the dump truck spread two loads of gravel.  Or when their dad said "sure you can drive the excavator."  Or when they helped get an enormous boulder onto the front loader. 

This morning, our driveway is smooth and beautiful.  No more potholes.  No mud puddles.  The front yard is free of 6 big boulders and ready for Ben's team to start spring practice here.  The back yard is no longer full of piles of branches, logs and rocks and will soon look like a real yard. It's been a long time coming. 









COMMENTS: »