| Hope in a Boy's World

Spring quarter

Saturday, April 21, 2012

On my way home from day one of this quarter's classes, I got a text from Trey (who was in Alabama) asking "how were classes today?" My response: "I am sooooooo happy!!" I don't believe I uttered those words once during the entire 11 weeks of winter quarter. Everything the last term wasn't, this term is. Glory Hallelujah!

So what makes this time around so much better? In a word: everything. First, I am taking three Secondary Ed. classes instead of General Ed. Second, I have a friend in every single class. In fact, on the first two days every classroom I walked into had someone waving at me and saving me a seat. (you would not believe how competitive the seating issue is.) Last time around I could barely get anyone to look at me much less talk to me so this is such a welcomed change. I didn't realize how lonely I was. I need that human connection. Third, I get to do my intensive middle school practicum (40 hours in the classroom) with the most wonderful 6th grade teacher whose classroom I was in last quarter.She is energetic, organized and a grandmother of 14 so a classroom of 25 is a piece of cake for her. I am learning loads from just observing her twice a week. Fourth, along with that practicum, there are four of us who are crazy enough to love middle schoolers and we get to work on a project together and meet once a week with our amazing adviser. It is the highlight of my week. Last, I am only in class during the hours of 10-2 when the kids are in school. No 8 a.m. or 4 p.m. classes!! No scrambling to find rides for the boys when Trey goes out of town. No leaving for the night when everyone is coming home. No coming home at bedtime and getting up the next day at 6.

As I look back, I can see God's hand in all of this. Although last time around wasn't my favorite at least Trey only traveled once the entire three months. He and the boys were up at the mountain most every Saturday and Sunday so I was guaranteed at least one full day to catch up on homework. This time around is the opposite: Trey has been gone every other week and will continue to be for the remainder of the quarter. All three boys are doing a spring sport (this has never happened) and the weeks I am solo, Quinn has had at least two out of town games, my most demanding assignments are due and I'm guaranteed one quiz or exam that same week. If I had the class schedule, professors, classmates and subject matters similar to the previous three months, I don't think I could do this craziness. I'm so thankful God knew this. He really is concerned with every little detail of our lives.

Four weeks down, seven to go!!

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A Proud Mama Week

Monday, April 2, 2012

Having three kids rarely means there is a day, week or month when all of them are functioning on all cylinders at one time. Usually one is up, one is down and the other is somewhere in the middle. Last week was one of those rare times when everything clicked and boy was this mama's heart full.

Looking ahead at the calendar when I returned from my trip, I was not particularly thrilled about the upcoming 5 days. Trey had stayed behind in Alabama, I was starting spring quarter classes, Quinn had three "away" soccer games, Ian had his end-of-season wrestling tournament and Ben had two evening soccer practices that conflicted with all of the above. I put my head down and plundered through knowing I would have to be okay with asking for rides, serving cereal for dinner and missing parts or all of each event.

Fortunately, my first day of classes was fabulous (more on that in a later post) and Russ (our "manny") sent me a text saying that he didn't feel like his job was done until Trey returned so he would be available if we needed anything. Boy did I ever need to take him up on that offer. Between classes on Wednesday I got a text that Quinn was in the counselor's office having a tough day. I can't go into details but suffice it say that sometimes a teacher's sarcasm doesn't mix with a teenager's fragile emotions. That evening after his game, he was pulled aside and asked to play in the varsity game on Friday. His excitement was quickly deflated when his J.V. teammates got word and told him it was only because the team would be missing players due to the start of spring break. Nice.

That evening Ian had three matches. Now this is a kid who isn't terribly competitive, eschews team sports and hasn't hit his growth spurt. But he has played his heart out all season long for only one win. I feared lots of tears both during and after matches along with threats of quitting. I am happy to report none of this happened. He was ahead by a lot going into the third round of his first match when his opponent pinned him. The second and third rounds he was the one doing the pinning and the tournament ended on a very high note. I couldn't have been prouder of his attitude, work ethic and overall respect for his teammates and their coach. He ended his inaugural season a winner in my book.

The next day Ben came home with his second trimester report card. He was a little upset because his percentages went down a little in two subjects and said "I'm definitely not getting high honor roll this next time." I know that it's a lot easier to start out of the gate fast and furious but maintaining that pace is really tough for most people. Ben is so hard on himself that he rarely needs any prodding to do homework or study so I encouraged him to keep doing his best. After he walked away, I picked up the paper to read it myself and of course went straight to the teacher's comments section. Her words were music to my ears: "Ben always displays a happy spirit! What stands out the most is his genuine acceptance of others and highly engaged attention." That is worth more than a 100% to me any day.

Friday night was the creme de la creme of the week. We headed out to Quinn's game and as soon as we pulled into the school parking lot, the skies let loose. Trey assured me it would blow over but as the minutes ticked by we donned our raincoats, grabbed our umbrellas and trekked out to the fields. It was worse than a torrential downpour and I was cursing the lack of spring in the Northwest and questioning why my kids don't play indoor sports. Quinn was playing the first half in the J.V. game and the second half with the Varsity guys. He was so nervous that he even left the house 30 minutes earlier than the bus was going to be at the school so he was "good and warmed up." I know the flack he was getting from the upperclassmen and his own teammates was bothering him. I prayed for him and his confidence and left it with God. What happened next was beyond my wildest dreams.

As the second half began, they were down 2-0 to a team they were predicted to beat handily. With 20 minutes left they scored as the goalie slid the wrong direction. Since Quinn was still on the bench, I continued watching the J.V game with some other moms when Ben informed me "They're putting Quinn in." Next thing I knew they had scored a second goal and we were now tied. Quinn was totally holding his own and keeping great control of the ball as a midfielder. With 7 minutes left, the ball was passed to him, he booted it from 25 yards out and into the net it went. It was an unbelievable moment. The other team never got down to the other end of the field and our team was able add another tally to the win column. The next morning's paper had a short article about the game. Here's a link to the next day's article. What a redeeming end to a tough start of a week.

I always feel proud of my kids regardless of how they perform because I know it's how you handle the adversity that truly reveals your character. But I also know that having some victories along the way really helps to buoy you through those trying times. Weeks like this are the moments I cherish.

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Spring Break in the Carolinas

Sunday, April 1, 2012

In the last two years, Trey has probably been in the southeast no less than 6 times for work. Every time he reports on the warm sunshine or calls me while he's making his daily order at the Chick-fil-A drive thru, I seethe with jealousy. Back at the beginning of the year when he was planning out his travel schedule I asked if he could plan one that coincided with my school's spring break. Turns out he had to visit Greenville, South Carolina along with some other towns along the way and had to fly in and out of Charlotte. We were in business!!

It was not difficult in the least to leave yet another springtime snowfall and head south for a week. Everytime I land there, I feel like a missing part of my heart has found its way back home. I know it sound cheesy but I just love being in that part of the country. Maybe it's because that is where we started our family. Maybe it's because the values I hold dear are still important to the general population. Maybe it's because I crave the heat. It's probably a combination of all these. Whatever the reason, it was so nice to be back there and enjoy sweet tea, warm evenings, amazing shopping sans Canadians, hearing "yes, ma'am" or "how may I serve you?" and not being on a schedule.

A couple highlights of our trip was a mini-reunion with dear friends from Trey's childhood days in Columbia, South Carolina. When I had talked with them over Christmas, they told me that they heard Trey was traveling to the south a lot and the next time he was in town, they wanted to see him--even if they had to drive an hour or two to meet him. When I knew I was going to join him, we connected and worked out a time and a place to meet for dinner. Trey's parents made an even longer hike (7 hours) and were able to join us too. It was a wonderful evening and didn't feel like 11 years had passed since we had all been together. At the end of our week, Trey had a meeting outside of Asheville, North Carolina which feels like the "Bellingham of the south." on a larger scale. It's an artsy, hippie-like place tucked into the Blue Ridge mountains with cute shops and funky restaurants galore. We ended up staying just outside of the town but enjoyed it on our way back to Charlotte. The night before my flight we got to see our dear friends Lisa and Joe for dinner. It was Joe's birthday and he had no idea were coming so our knock at the door was a total surprise. They had friends visiting from Charleston and we all got along famously and enjoyed takeout from my favorite Charlotte restaurant, Mama Ricottas.

The boys were well taken care of by my mom for the first 3 days and our friend Russ, who is like a big brother to the kids, for the remainder of the week. One thing I was anticipating upon my return was that I would not get the "Mommy's home!!!!" welcome that I had the last time we had been on a plane and flown across the country away from them--5 years ago. They were 5, 8 and 9 back then. Days when we still had a lot of influence and they were still dependent on us. Those days are definitely behind us. Trey had to stay behind for the following week so I came home alone. When I walked in the door, Ian and his posse of fellow mountain bike riders were all helping themselves to various meals. One was making grilled cheese sandwiches, another was munching down on potato chips and Mountain Dew and my son was downloading their biking videos on the computer. The amount of dog hair coating the hardwood floors could have filled a pillowcase, crushed Mountain Dew and Dr. Pepper cans were on every table within view and the general smell of the house exuded excessive amounts of testosterone. My first thought was "now I understand why the Lord said "it is not good for man to be alone." This house needed some serious estrogen infusion. And how. Quinn & Russ were out on a hike and Ben was kicking back in the basement watching soccer. At least Millie was happy to see me. After I unpacked and showered, I came back in the kitchen and noticed a pot roast in the crockpot so all was not lost.

I'm so thankful for the time away to reconnect with my hubby but there's nothing better than coming home.

After a wonderful dinner at Bonefish Grill. Love these friends so much!

I loved the steam rising from the rushing river along the Blue Ridge Parkway.

More sights along the Blue Ridge.

This was my favorite meal of the whole trip: Shrimp and Grits with a Lobster cream sauce. To. Die. For.

I just love covered bridges.

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Six down, four to go

Monday, March 12, 2012

I can feel the stress leaving my body as I put together my final project-- which is due in 5 hours. Living life under deadline steals my joy. To constantly have something hanging over my head puts me in a state of constant irritability. You would think it might be easier as time goes on but I have been a student now for 18 months and instead it feels harder. Maybe it's just that the heat gets turned up when you get closer to your goal. Everything in you wants to throw in the towel. Many times I have wanted to raise the white flag and say "Forget this. It's not worth it." But when I look back with another quarter behind me, there is a huge sense of satisfaction that I overcame the challenge.

In spite of how grueling the last 11 weeks have been, I have learned a huge lesson in empathy. I hate how it always takes going through similar struggles to understand others' pain but it seems to be the only way.

When I say empathy, I am talking about how it feels to be a minority. I must admit I have been calloused to the battlecry of the non-white community. I have always had the impression that all our country's resources of time and money were being prioritized to those whose ancestors didn't immigrate from Europe and therefore they shouldn't be complaining. What I have realized is that time and money don't solve the issue of feeling left out. Entering a culture so vastly different from your own is an exercise in strength and self confidence. And let me tell you, it's hard to hold on to either when you spend day after day with people who have no interest in getting to know you. It is incredibly lonely. I may not be a minority in terms of my skin color but in every other subject. I don't have much in common with the majority of people on campus due to my marital status, my parental status, my political leanings, my religious beliefs--all the values I hold dear are not often shared by those I interact with on a daily basis. I can somewhat understand what it must feel like for the 8-10% of my fellow students who don't fit the stereotype either.

I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to do with this revelation but I'm glad I've made the discovery. I hope I will remember next quarter when, unlike this quater,I have like-minded friends in my classes, that I will make an effort when I sense someone is feeling excluded. I know this is all preparing me for what I will face in my classroom. So instead of looking back on these 3 months with disdain, I will file it away as another lesson learned and remember what I've said from the beginning: this is about so much more than the degree.

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So glad we made the switch

Friday, February 10, 2012

By the end of Ben's second grade year we knew something had to give. The poor kid was not having the elementary school experience his big brothers had. There were numerous reasons and, in the grand scheme of things, he could have done fine but we felt led to move him to our local private Christian school. (Talk about eating crow and "never say never") That year was the school's 50th anniversary and they were offering $99/month scholarships to 50 families for the first year at the school. Almost a fifth of what their normal tuition would be. We definitely weren't rolling in it but knew we could curtail a few items from our budget and find a hundred bucks.

Because Ben had attended there for preschool, we knew and recognized many families at the back-to-school barbecue. The first question I was asked over and over was "what about your other boys? Just Ben?" I couldn't resist. My typical response was: "Ben's the only one we're raising Christian. The other two are experiments." The look on their face was priceless. Seriously though I knew there would be a difference in sending one of our children to a school where everything we are teaching our children and everything we value is reinforced in the classroom. As opposed to the public domain where virtually the opposite happens. But I also knew that we were led down a different path with the other two boys and I have to trust God with that.

Last year was a bit of a tough transition. After being on the same schedule as his big brothers, it wasn't easy to switch gears to a different calendar, different start and end times and no school bus. Ben is a rough and tumble physically active boy and he struggled t0 find many other male classmates who shared his love for sports during recess. (But he did find a tomboy who has 3 brothers and can totally hold her own. They have a total love/hate relationship, of course.) He really missed his friends and teammates from the previous years but it seemed like he saw them just as much, if not more, than he did when they were at the same school. In spite of the minor disappointments, I still knew we made the right decision.

When the tuition bill came in August for the first installment for the 2011-12 school year, I believe my heart skipped a beat. Even though I knew it was coming, there was still a bit of panic. In that moment I could feel God whispering, "just trust me. I led you down this path and I will take care of the details." If you know me very well, then you also know that trusting God with finances has been a lifelong battle for me and yet I had such peace about it. I truly saw it as an investment in Ben's eternal future, not a sacrifice of all the material extras that vie for my attention and wallet.

I'm happy to say that we haven't doubted our decision for one minute. Fourth grade year will definitely go down in history as the "banner year" for Ben. I had heard all about Ms. M. from parents who had gone before me. If you have school age children then you know that rarely is there a teacher that some parent doesn't have a beef with. I have yet to find one in this case. After day one of this school year, I haven't heard one negative comment from Ben. In fact, I think there might even be a little schoolboy crush going on here.

December is when I saw such confirmation that these were the perfect surroundings for Ben. I was at the school helping with a book fair during the after school shift. I happened to be standing in the hallway where the students walk by on their way out to the carpool pick up line. Ben had come down with the stomach flu the previous night so wasn't at school that day. As his class passed me by, one little girl turned around and said, "Oh, how's Ben feeling?" Immediately another boy said, "Hey, how was your final?" (Apparently Ben shared this concern as his prayer request that week.) If this isn't evidence of Ms. M. building a classroom community, I don't know what is.

The icing on the cake came just a couple weeks ago. I was helping Ben with his homework. He had a quiz the following day on Bible knowledge. I looked over the worksheet on prophets before I asked the questions. One of the fill-in-the-blanks was "If you were on the playground with a friend and he asked you why you believe in God, what would you say?" His answer: "Because all of the prophecies I have read about have all come true and I can just feel it in my heart!" Isn't that absolutely precious???

I could go on and on but I'll just say I am so incredibly glad we made the switch.

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More than halfway there

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

I know I haven't posted a thing about this quarter--and with good reason. Let me just start by saying that I am so happy it's the shortest quarter of the year (11 weeks) and I'm even happier that it's more than half over. (We are in the middle of week 6!)

After fall quarter, I was convinced that my second-time-around college career would continue to be rosy. It never crossed my mind that every professor and every subject from here on out wouldn't be anything but dynamic, engaging and mentally stimulating. After spending 12 weeks with a really special group of secondary education students, I was sure that all my classmates would be equally as fun and friendly. Boy, was I wrong.

In my previous college life, winter quarter was never my favorite. Not only is it my least favorite season, it always seemed to be the term that only the most boring of subjects were taught and usually at the worst possible times of the day: 8:00 a.m. and/or 4:00 p.m. Leaving in the dark and coming home in the dark is not something I jump up and down about. It would be easier to stomach if I was excited about what I was experiencing on campus.

So what's the difference this time? For one, last quarter I had two courses that I was required to take during my first term. Same with 16 other fellow secondary ed. students. This combination made for a natural comraderie within the classroom. No one person dominated the discussions and it was a true learning community. This quarter there are also two mandatory courses to be completed by the end of my second term. The difference is that all education majors take these classes, not just those interested in teaching grades 5-12. And there are 45 of us, not 16. It's hard to facilitate discussion and one or two students typically dominate or parrot the professor's views. Second, I'm taking my first class on how to teach English to middle and high school students. The class is at 8:00 a.m. so I'm leaving for campus at "dark 0'clock". The desks are jam packed into the room. The professor gives no potty break for the entire two hours and the cup of coffee I downed on the bus can't last in my bladder that long. And the set up of the material doesn't lend itself to much interaction between the students. Third, on the two days I'm in class from 8-2, I go straight from the bus stop to help with a reading tutoring program until 4:00. After leaving the house at 7:10 a.m., it just makes for a really long day. Finally, I have a 1 credit technology class that I'm taking online that uses more of my time than at least two of the other three classes combined. I have had every single assignment returned to me for the most nit picky reasons. ARGH!

All is not lost though. There is always a silver lining. Last quarter I met two of the most lovely young ladies. I posted about them back in November. Although we have no classes together, the two of them are together most every day. Just about every week I hear from one or both of them and we connect on campus or at a coffee shop for a quick check-in. They lift my spirits and put a smile on my face on the darkest of days. A couple days ago I got text from one of them asking if I could meet her because she made me something. She took one of my family pictures off Facebook and did the coolest sketch of us. On the back she wrote, "I hope you are in my life forever!" This is what keeps me going. The relationships. The true heart connections. And I suspect this is the same thing that will keep me going when I have my own classroom. There will be days, weeks or even months when I may strongly dislike my job and one special student will appear with a sweet note like this or a parent may send me a message thanking me for what I've done in a child's life. Then, just like now, it will make the bad days pale in comparison.

I'm holding on to that. And that I only have 28 more days until finals....not that I'm counting or anything.

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A Wretch Like Me

Monday, February 6, 2012

I loved this devotion that landed in my email box today. (I just couldn't say "in my inbox") It so confirmed the frustration I feel in my own suburban, comfortable life. I especially love the question she poses regarding why we don't see our need for a savior when we're building our own kingdoms. I don't want to live that way but I'm so guilty of it. Lord, please show us all our desperate need for you no matter what our lot in life.

Click here to read it:
A Wretch Like Me

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A Public Declaration

Friday, February 3, 2012

I don't know about you but I was raised in a denomination that believed in infant baptism--and preferably as soon as possible after birth as to "get rid of your original sin." Since joining a non-denominational church as an adult, their doctrine believes that one should choose as an adult to be baptized by water as a outward declaration of one's belief in Jesus Christ. This is based on the Scripture in Romans 6:3-5.

A few weeks ago Ian approached Trey and asked if they could go to breakfast. With Ian this is code for "I have something big to talk with you about." He shared that at his middle school youth group they had been learning about baptism and he felt he was ready to make a public statement of his faith. If you know Ian, then you know that doing anything publicly is HUGE. After their breakfast Trey felt a nudge that this was his time, too. Like me, he experienced infant baptism but had never participated in a water immersion style baptism as an adult.

Trey and Ian's youth pastor met for lunch and Trey expressed his desire to be baptized and then baptize Ian with Scott. It was a incredibly touching moment. You can tell by the pictures below.

The coolest part of all was what Ian posted as his Facebook status the following day. "Thank the lord for I have been baptized as I take one step closer to knowing my identity in Jesus Christ and understanding who he made me to be." (I didn't change anything)

I'm excited to watch Ian's walk with God and faith in Him truly become his own.

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Adding some more gray hairs to my head

Monday, January 16, 2012

As of 5 days ago, I am tempted to slap a few of these stickers on the back of my oh-so-not-cool minivan. My oldest is now a permitted driver and I am watching new gray hairs appear by the minute. That being said, I have to admit that I was the one who encouraged this monumental decision. Quinn had written off the possibility due to his broken collarbone and subsequent recovery. He figured that taking Driver's Ed. would need to be put off until the summer and nothing else was mentioned--even on his 15th birthday. In the state of Washington, if a teenager is enrolled in a driver's training course, he or she is able to get a learner's permit at the age of 15. Otherwise, 15 1/2 is the rule. When we looked at the schedule of one of the local driving school's, it appeared that the class times would conflict with the spring soccer schedule. As I perused other websites I found one that was just 5 weeks as opposed to 7 weeks and would be completed by the end of February. I just did not want to commit to having to stay in town for 5 straight weeks over the summer. At this particular school, if you registered by January 30th, they gave a $50 discount. Done! (when I was 15, driver's ed was part of the school district curriculum as an elective.) I know that I'm the parent and could have fully said no to the experience entirely but something tells me that at this time next year, with my school schedule, I am going to need an additional driver in the house. Also, I figured that it couldn't hurt to have a full 12 months of driving experience under his belt as opposed to six months.

My husband took Quinn to register for the class and to the DMV for his permit. Ian and I took bets on whether Trey would let Quinn drive home from the DMV office. I said "yes." Ian said "no." Score one for Ian. My typically laid back, cavalier, up-for-anything-risky husband has suddenly assumed the role of cautious parent. "I wasn't about to let him drive home in that traffic!" he told us. I still remember the day I got my permit and my typically cautious mother handed me the keys and we took the long way home. Maybe something about this rite of passage causes a role reversal for some reason. After some coaxing, Quinn convinced his father to take him out after dinner. They returned in one piece and still talking to each other. Phew.

Day 2: I got a text as I was getting on the bus: "Can you come get me and let me drive home?" This is all coming back to haunt me. After moving to the passenger seat I suggested we go to McDonald's then go pick up Ben from school. His response: "That's a REALLY sharp turn!" Smile. He maneuvered the turn and mastered the tricky drive-thru experience like a pro. I had to smile inside as I listened to him politely place his order and pay for it. It dawned on me that he had never been the one to speak the order into the microphone at fast food drive thru and it was fun to see him use his manners without a reminder from me. (an unexpected perk) The best part of the experience by far was when we pulled up to the carpool line and saw Ben's reaction to his big brother in the driver's seat. It was priceless. The teacher's did a double take themselves. I pulled out my phone and wrote on Facebook: "sitting in the passenger seat while my son is the driver feels like an out-of-body experience." The best way to describe it is that scene in "Father of the Bride" (circa 1992) when Kimberly Williams tells Steve Martin she is getting married. He has an immediate flashback to his little girl as a 3-year-old uttering the words, "and we're getting married." I just kept staring at my son operating a two ton vehicle and envisioned those days on his Tonka 4 wheeler going 2.5 miles an hour around the yard. It's so very surreal.

That evening he asked to drive again. This time he wanted to pick up a friend and transport them ACROSS TOWN to a rival high school's basketball game IN THE DARK! What have I gotten myself into? I agreed but it suddenly became apparent to me why they (thankfully) passed the law forbidding newly licensed 16-to-18-year-old drivers to have passengers other than family members ride in their vehicle for the first year. As soon as his buddy buckled in, I could see a rapid increase in his acceleration and a little less focus on his surroundings. Yikes!

As the days went on, I see Quinn looking for reasons to drive anytime and anywhere. My husband can't believe that I actually like being the passenger as much as I do. I typically hand over the keys as we walk to the car and it's beginning to feel more natural every day. After fifteen years of shuttling this kid all over town, I am happy to be chauffeured. Plus, it gives me an opportunity to pull down the visor, open the mirror and pluck out those gray hairs....

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15 wishes on your 15th birthday

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Dear Quinn,

Fifteen years ago today you blessed me with the title of "mother" and my life has never been the same. Nor would I want it to be. I've often heard the saying that once you become a parent, a piece of your heart lives outside of your body for the rest of your life. This is all too true. Every decision I have made from January 6, 1997 on has had you at the heart of it. No longer was I just responsible for myself but another living, breathing human being. It is an awesome responsibility but an amazing privilege as well. Anything I have or will yet accomplish in this life will matter more than what kind of sons I raise. It's a charge I take very seriously. I love when your birthday rolls around as it gives me an opportunity to reflect on the amazing gift that you have been and always will be to me.

From the beginning, every mother has hopes and dreams for her child and will go to great lengths to make sure those come to fruition. We all want our kids to have every opportunity not afforded to us in our own childhood. It's a parent thing. Unfortunately, it seems that most of those desires are rooted in material blessings. Nowadays, my peers who are parents seem to judge the success of their parenting solely on their child's athletic ability or academic success--or a combination thereof. Rarely do we hear anyone say "he's a generous, selfless kid" or "she cares about those less fortunate than her."

On that note, I wanted to do something a little different for your annual birthday blog post. In the past I have usually listed the number of attributes I love about each of my sons corresponding to their current age. This year I decided to list 15 wishes I have for you on your special day. Now some of these might catch you by surprise or have you scratching your head wondering why I would wish them or, even worse, think they would actually be considered "gifts." You should know me by now and that there is always a method to my madness. I'm always after the bigger lesson, right? How many times do you hear me say "what kind of man to you want to be?" versus "how many goals did you score?" I can picture your eyes rolling as I write this. One day you might thank me or even agree with me but for now hang in there and scroll through. There is an explanation below each wish. And they're alphabetical, of course. I am an English teacher, after all. (almost)

1. The gift of ADVERSITY. Not having things always go your way is one of the greatest teachers and the only way to make you truly appreciate what you have. In the most trying times is where you will find your strength, look inward and upward, and grow the very most.

2. The gift of CHANGE. No one likes to be caught by surprise in a world where planning and "controlling your destiny" is encouraged. It's natural to want to have stability, security and be able to count on certain things happening in life. If you can learn to embrace change and find the positive in that which is out of your control, you will find immense satisfaction and growth.

3. The gift of EDUCATION. As a high school student, going to school doesn't feel like a gift but a burden. But if you can remember that most of the world will never have the opportunity to learn how to read or write, you will see how very blessed you are to get all this for free. It's a privilege not a right. And I hope that you will be committed to being a life long learner even beyond your formal education.

4. The gift of FAMILY. Being born into a family where you are wanted, cared for and loved is a huge blessing. Even when we annoy you, I know that you love being part of our family. Beyond that, I hope and pray that your future is blessed with a wife and children yourself as you leave your own legacy in this world.

5. The gift of FRIENDSHIP. You are a super social guy and have always had a lot of friends which I know has meant a lot to you. I wish for you to not only continue to have a good, core group of friends you can count on but to be a loyal friend to others as well.

6. The gift of HARD WORK. By this I mean "back breaking" type of manual labor. There is a unique satisfaction that comes from physically exhausting yourself and seeing the results of that. You will never regret giving it your all whether it's working on a farm, a construction site or anything else that pushes your limits in this way.

7. The gift of HEALTH. This is so easy to take for granted--especially when you're young and fit. Waking up every day being able to walk, talk, see and hear is something to be deeply appreciated. It's one of those things that "you don't know what you've got until it's gone."

8. The gift of HUMILITY. This can take on so many different forms from doing a job that you are overqualified for to giving of your time and talents without expecting anything in return--or even doing it anonymously. Thinking of others as more important than yourself will always serve you well and show your true character.

9. The gift of LAUGHTER. You have a great sense of humor and a quick wit and laugh very easily. The true test, and true gift, is when you are able to laugh at yourself. To make fun of your own shortcomings or blunders will draw others to you and make them more at ease with themselves. However, laughter at another's expense is never an attractive trait.

10. The gift of LOVE. I look forward to the day when a young lady captures your heart and you fall madly in love. Not puppy love or self serving but true, unconditional, ready-to-lay-down your-life-for-her kind of love. It will be a beautiful thing.

11. The gift of PATIENCE. You have grown up in an instant gratification world. I know you think us stodgy old adults love to throw that term around for nostalgia's sake, and that we're out of touch, but there's a lot to be said for good old waiting. Self control and denying immediate pleasure are so difficult but having that discipline has been scientifically proven to increase self esteem. In other words, it can't hurt.

12. The gift of PERSERVERANCE. Sticking with something, especially when everything inside you is screaming "QUIT!" is so rewarding. Nothing beats knowing and hearing "A job well done."

13. The gift of SERVICE. This could tie in with humility because it, once again, is considering others as more important than you. And serving generally doesn't equate with getting paid. You do it because it's the right thing to do and Jesus was the greatest example of that. He did not come into this world to be served but to serve others. An attitude that we would all do well to adopt.

14. The gift of WISDOM. You might consider this redundant if you lump it in with education but I'm talking more about gaining knowledge and wisdom in life, not just head knowledge. There's said to be five stages of a man's life with the last being a "Sage". I hope you will take to heart all of the opportunities and disappointments that come your way, for this is where a wise man is found. And I pray you will pass on your knowledge to those coming behind you. The world needs more Sages.

15. (not in alphabetical order) The gift of a deep abiding faith in Jesus which is at the center of all of these. He will never leave you or forsake you and had great things in mind when He created you. Stick close to Him and no matter what happens in your life (even if you never have any of the above) you will find He is the greatest gift of all.

Happy 15th birthday, Quinn! I love who you are and who you are becoming!

~Mom

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