When it rains it pours. Feast or famine. It's one extreme or the other. Everything happens at once. All of these commonly used phrases describe what life has been like since I last posted. When I logged on and saw my last post was on January 6th, I knew a tornado hit. The aftermath is finally beginning to show some calm before the next storm. And there always seems to be one brewing.

In the past 21 days the following circumstances have occurred:

• Trey decided to apply to MBA school and start studying for the GMAT.
• We interviewed realtors and prepared to put our house on the market.
• My company rolled out a new product line of which I was primarily responsible for R & D, marketing and selling.
• Two of my closest friends were unexpectedly rushed to the hospital with life threatening situations.
• Trey started a new job.
• We listed our house for sale.
• My good friend turned 40 and I committed to making a photo montage video of her life along with planning the birthday dinner.

Oh, and somewhere in the middle of all this I have three children who are feeling the emotional instability of their mom being checked out and stressed out. So if I haven't been a good friend lately this is why. Talking on the phone and replying to emails are simply a luxury I can't afford right now. I hope this is short-lived. I know it's a season but not one I hope to see repeated over and over.

You know time is passing quickly when your child's birthday comes around and you start looking at how many years are left instead of the number that have already passed by. Two thirds of the eighteen years are behind us. Wow.


When we first started discussing starting a family it was always so important to me that my child didn't have a birthday during the Christmas season. After almost two years of unsuccessfully trying to conceive, I decided I didn't care if my baby shared a birthday with Jesus himself. I just wanted a baby! So I had to laugh when the OB gave me my due date: January 8th. Just two short weeks after Christmas. The best laid plans, huh?



I barely put away the Christmas decorations and get the kids back to school and it's time to gear up for another celebration. Since I started this tradition with Ian's 10th birthday, I have been looking forward to coming up with Ben's and Quinn's lists to correspond with their ages. But this past weekend, I found myself wondering if this was such a wise idea as the number of favorite attributes would increase as each child hit his teen years. Hmmmm. This might be a tall order. Well, I've decided that I'm going to believe we will just sail through the days ahead and each list will be easier to compile than the last. Disclaimer: these traits don't apply when referring to younger brothers. :)

Twelve Qualities I Love About Quinn:

1. Self-motivated-getting himself ready in the mornings and doing homework rarely require any nagging from his parents. There is definitely a budding entrepreneur in those genes.
2. Polite-transplant this boy to the South and he'll be dropping those "Yes, ma'ams and Yes, Sirs" as often as "Mister" and "Missus".
3. Strong conscience-like George Washington this boy cannot tell a lie. He admits his wrongdoings before he's caught and convicted.
4. Helpful-always willing to lend a hand and encourages others to do the same.
5. Amazing memory- this boy has a steel trap in that head. Whether it's the name of his very first pre-school teacher or the details of an event that occurred five years ago, he can recount the story like it was yesterday.
6. Gentleman-recently he went to the movies with the instructions to bring us back change. When he came home he said there he had no money left because three girls joined them and it "just didn't seem right for them to pay for their tickets".
7. Punctual-being late is federal offense to this kid. He did not inherit this trait from me.
8. Giving-he's always been willing to share of his time, talent and possessions.
9. Mega-watt smile- when he was a baby people used to comment that he was "more mouth than face". He has finally grown into those pearly whites and they light up his face.
10. Expressive-with his words, emotions and affection. Hugging is his specialty.
11. A good friend-making sure everyone is included and no one feels left out are high priorities to him.
12. Kind-he has a warm heart and treats others with respect.
    

Happy 12th Birthday to my firstborn! I love you Quinn and I'm proud to call you my son.

As I try to hold myself back from tearing down the decorations--yes, I am so ready to bid 2008 good-bye--I thought I'd post some pictures from our Christmas. I was not particularly looking forward to the holidays this year. So many traditions I love were not part of our plans this year. Partly due to three snowstorms and 10 days of below freezing temperatures and the lack of funds. I was in a downright bah-humbug sort of mood for the better part of this month. I commented to Trey that I hated feeling like Christmas was just another holiday to be endured. I just wanted it to be over with and I was dreading having to be "up" for two days when I felt the exact opposite. I really desired to have joy and focus on the "reason for the season" but the funk continued on. In spite of it all, I desperately tried to hold on to "the glass is half full" attitude as we headed to Seattle for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day to be with my side of the family. It ended up being such a redeeming, special time--isn't that just like God?

December 25th was a day with many firsts. It was the first white Christmas the Seattle area has seen in 18 years. It was the first time my children went to a Christmas Eve service in the church I grew up in. It was the first time in several years my mom had all three of her children and their families together for Christmas Day. Everyone spent the night and my sister and I stayed up well past midnight re-hashing the day and reminscing of Christmases past. I can't recall us doing that since our college days. Finally, my uncle announced his engagement to a lovely lady we all adore so our family continues to grow. It may not have been what I was expecting but it was exactly what I needed.

Merry Christmas to all!

December 23rd

The whole gang

Uncle Bob and soon-to-be Auntie Grace

My always glamorous little sis

I don't even know how to begin this post. The above logo is one some of you local folks may have seen on bumper stickers or t-shirts over the past 18 months. You may have wondered if it was a new brand of surfboard or perhaps a cartoon. Unfortunately it is neither. The slogan and cute picture were put together by some dear friends of a young 7-year-old boy who is battling a "brain bump"--as he likes to call it.

Kyle "Kylie" Roger was diagnosed in February 2007 with a diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma or DIPG. This particular tumor is most often found in children between the ages of five and ten years old. There is no cure and it is deemed inoperable because of the tumor's preferred location (at the brain stem). The average survival rate after initial diagnosis is 11 months. Children with DIPG living beyond a year is a mere eight percent. Kyle has defied the odds again and again.

Kyle's mom, Christin, has been a friend of mine since her older son and my middle son were classmates in preschool many years ago. I liked her the minute we met. This beautiful woman has had to bear more than anyone's fair share of pain and suffering yet through it all she remains tirelessly optimistic yet amazingly honest and vulnerable. She has kept all of us updated through Kyle's blog and most recently added "Christin's Diary" where she posts a daily journal entry. I know it is her private therapy yet I'm so thankful she trusts us to have a glimpse into her heart.

As the tumor grows more dense, in spite of chemotherapy and radiation, Kyle is beginning to display the many physical symptoms that often accompany its progression. In spite of this, Christin decided to host a Holiday Open House this weekend. I was reluctant to go for my own selfish reasons. What would I say? What if I broke down and made it worse for her? How would I respond when she asks me how I'm doing? How bad could my life really be compared to what she endures on a daily basis?

I'm so glad I went. It was great to see her. To hug her. To see Kyle. To see all the support she has from this community. To see her house and yard all decked out in "Griswold style"--as she is calling it this year. She is choosing to live and live fully no matter what the future may hold. May we all do the same this Christmas season and beyond.

Things I LOVE about this time of year:

• Pulling out all the ornaments and recalling the fond memories attached to each one


• Salvation Army bellringers. God bless those men and women.


• Opening the mailbox and finding stacks of cards instead of bills and ads


• 24 hours of Christmas songs on the local radio station


• Seeing all those precious pre-school decorations the boys made over the years and being thankful I kept every one of them.


• The kindness and generosity of people who "just know" that this is a season of giving even if they don't believe in Jesus.


• Opening the family Christmas album, reading last year's letter and adding the current one.

Enjoy these next 22 days of Advent.

I am thankful :

• for the ability to see, hear, walk, talk, taste, feel and touch
• that I will have 11 people whom I love around my dining room table tomorrow
• for my three happy, healthy boys
• for a fall season that has been full of more sunshine than usual
• for a warm bed to sleep in
• for my steadfast, handsome husband
• for God Almighty who has blessed me with all of these

For some Thanksgiving inspiration take a look at this one minute video from Good Morning America.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

This afternoon as I was leaving the Post Office I bumped into one of those friends who I only seem to see in passing every 3 or 4 months. The last time I saw her she asked what was going on with my husband's work and proceeded to tell me how "it's always something with you guys and not ever having steady employment." Ouch! Like I didn't know this. Did I really need to be reminded?

For some reason, that God only knows, our family has not experienced more than two straight years of stable income since our first child was born in 1997. It's a sensitive subject. And one that seems to come up more often than I'd like to discuss it. I cringe inside when I know the topic is about to surface.

As soon as I saw her, my first thought was "Here we go". Sure enough: "What's going on with Trey?" I can't blame her. She was sincere in her question. It's no different than someone who has had health issues always being asked how they're feeling. Or somebody who has experienced rebellion in her children to be questioned with, "Where is your daughter these days?" I just get tired of not having a positive response. I grow weary of the look of "I feel sorry for you" on their faces. I worry that this will be always be our lot in life. Yet my response surprised even myself.

I shared with her that God had recently--very recently--brought me to the realization that we all have "our one thing". You know what I'm talking about. The wish that, if it came to fruition, would make your life perfect. Or so we think. For one person it might be an intimate, satisfying marriage. For another, a day that didn't involve taking multiple medications and spending the better part of her life on a dialysis machine. Yet isn't it this "one thing" that causes us to rely on God the most?

I think about how I am so quick to respond when I hear a friend talk about her trials--which usually center around an issue I'm not currently struggling with. In my mind I think, "I'm really sorry but at least you know where your next paycheck is coming from." (I clearly missed the sermon on bearing one another's burdens, huh?) I put a level of importance on my challenges versus hers. But really it's all the same.

What if God did relieve the pressure of our "one thing"? What need would we have for Him? Really? He knows us so well and He also knows how we would respond. I think about the times when life has gone my way and the challenges were few. The result? A smug outlook and a temptation to regularly pat my own back for "how hard we've worked."

Although I am not thrilled at the prospect of having the "same old story" for the foreseeable future, I'm glad I know the one who holds my future in His hands.

Since my last post of Halloween, I have pondered numerous times over many subjects. The election. The economy. The current happenings of the world. All of these are worthy topics and have certainly captivated my thoughts and feelings day in and day out. Yet time and time again I can't shake a recent conversation and its lasting impact on me.

About a week ago I took my oldest out for a "smoothie date". My purpose was to share with him a female perspective about the current behavior of his opposite sex classmates. He's had the "talk" with my husband and I've somewhat kept myself out of the discussions. I didn't think I had much widsom to offer him as I would if I was raising a daughter. I had been warned by other mothers about the aggressive nature of girls these days. I shrugged it off until the second week of September and the young ladies began calling with every excuse in the world to talk to my son. One evening when a group of them called at 10 p.m. on a Friday night I thought it was cute as I remember doing the same thing with my pre-teen girlfriends. As I reminisced about my behavior 20 some years ago I thought it might be a good idea to share with him what is probably going on in the head of a 12 year old girl. When the phone calls continued for the next week, day after day, I knewit was time to address the issue.

I beseeched God for the words of wisdom that I hoped would have a lasting impact on my son. I started the conversation with telling him about some of the unsavory choices I made as I was developing into a young woman. I explained to him that at the very heart of a girl are deep haunting questions: "Am I lovely? Am I pretty? Do you delight in me?" The first place she goes to have these questions answered is her father. If he is absent or emotionally unavailable, as mine was, she will then turn to boys in her search. I told her how I did that and my suspicion is that these girls (two of whom don't know their fathers) are doing the same. They are looking for love in all the wrong places. Combine that with a culture that tells them to "go for whatever they want" and you have quickly maturing young ladies aggressively pursuing slowly maturing young men.

I told him that although his dad and I would guide him through life with our values and convictions and God's word, ultimately the choice would be his. He could decide to be honorable and respect his female peers or choose what the world says is his for the taking--especially when some gals will be so freely offering it to him.

Just as I finished my "speech" a fellow dad walked in with his son. He walked over to our table and spilled his heart out right there. He openly shared with me the choices his once honor roll student/top athlete daughter was making as of late which had forced he and his wife to remove her from their home at the tender age of 17. Just a year ago I had talked to this couple and their beautiful, talented daughter had it all going for her. She was on her way to a scholarship for both academics and sports. They were beaming with pride as they updated me on their family. What could have possibly caused those plans to go south in twelve short months??? A bad choice involving the very subject my son and I were discussing. A choice that has ramifications to be felt for years to come.

This poor guy's heart was breaking as he kept repeating, "She was my baby girl". His timing couldn't have been more perfect and I was thankful he chose to be brutally honest in my son's presence. It made for further discussion in the following days and gave him a tangible picture of how one choice can change your entire future. As we said good bye the last thing this dad said to me was: " You know what we did wrong? We never told her 'no'."

Isn't that the common denominator in most heartache? An unwillingness to say 'no.' To ourselves and to others. I think about how often I give in just because it's easier. Because I don't feel like stopping what I'm doing to explain my answers. Because I'm too tired. Because I don't want to disappoint my child. I will take this man's words to heart as I navigate the rough waters ahead. I pray that God's grace and compassion will heal this family as I know He does not waste pain on any of us.

1. Joyful-he came out of the womb smiling and hasn't stopped. His grin is from ear to ear and lights up his face. Even when he's frowning it doesn't last long. He just can't help but smiling and when you look at him, you just can't help but return the grin.
2. Tenacious-when he wants to do something that his big brothers are doing or try a new activity, he doesn't let up. He'll stick with it until he's mastered the game or skill.
3. Resilient-as the youngest of three boys, he has endured more bumps, bruises and scrapes than most. Even when he appears to be down for the count, it doesn't last long. The tears rarely continue more than 60 seconds before he's out there going for it again. If he catches a virus and the common course of symptoms is a week, he'll be over it in 48 hours--or less.
4. Affectionate-as a newborn, he would nuzzle under your neck and stay there forever. He is still the best cuddler and gives hugs and kisses morning, noon and night.
5. Hard working-he loves to learn and embraces every new subject whether in school or life. When he can't figure something out we often find him alone giving himself a pep talk on how to accomplish the task.
6. Energetic-he wakes up and hits the ground running every day. "Walk" is not a word in his vocabulary. Slowing down only happens during REM. One of his nicknames is "Benny the Jet".
7. Loving-he has the most tender heart. Recently, when I was under the weather, he called me from a playdate to see how I was feeling. It was the sweetest gesture ever!

Happy Birthday to you, Benjamin! You'll always be my baby! Love you forever, Mom