| Hope in a Boy's World

Dangerous Surrender Chapter Two: Coffee

Friday, November 20, 2009

A while back I posted about a particular book that was challenging me: Dangerous Surrender by Kay Warren. I often get excited about what I'm reading but, more often than not, I end up finishing it and setting it on the bookshelf. Not with this one. I passed it on to one of my BFF's who passed it on to her friend, who read it in a day and so on and so on and so on........

Which then resulted in a "book club/study group/coffee klatch" on Wednesday mornings.

After the four of us finished discussing the first chapter, one of the BFF's shared with us about a particular family she knows who lives on very little--by choice. They have three small children, live in a 2 bedroom house, own one car, the dad bikes to work in spite of the weather and they make a small pittance stretch for their monthly food budget. I can't even bring myself to write the amount as you would be astounded--and quite possibly ashamed. My friend made a suggestion that would be a small sacrifice to us but a huge blessing to this family: when dropping off outgrown clothes at our local kids' consignment store, apply our donations to this mom's account instead of our own. What a wonderful surprise she would have on her next clothes shopping visit. Done.

The following week I showed up with my Starbucks in hand ready to tackle Chapter 2. As we dive in, our same friend had another idea: Instead of us all stopping to get our fancy java, bring the money we would have spent on a latte and drink her fresh-brewed Folgers instead. At the end of our 11 weeks we'd ask God what to do with the accumulated cash. I was nominated to get out my glue stick and magazines and find my inner 17-year-old creativity. Here's the result:

I still haven't fallen in love with "that other coffee" but I am excited to see how many "fishes and loaves" are multipied from this very simple sacrifice.

4 Comments »

First day of school--again

Friday, November 13, 2009

At the risk of being pegged a "middle school peaker" who is living vicariously through her 12 year old, this is my last post on the fire. Well, at least this week. My enthusiasm really does not come from a long standing need to repeat those adolescent years. (Although I am one of the rare adults who does look back fondly on sixth through eighth grade.) I just continue to be touched and moved by the overflow of kindness of this community and want to share it with everyone I know.

The above video is from yesterday morning. The seventh grade class arrived at their new home: another middle school across town. To witness the way these students greeted the newcomers will bring tears to your eyes.

Be warned that you might want to turn down the volume. These are teenagers after all and the shrill is a little overpowering. But I couldn't mute it either because the effect of the decibels only adds to the experience. I hope it makes you feel like you were there.

2 Comments »

Beauty from Ashes

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Five short days ago my son's seventh grade life came to a standstill when his middle school went up in flames. For the next 24 hours we heard rumor after rumor about the fate of 580 students and staff. The only sure thing we knew was that classes were canceled for the next 48 hours. I've never experienced being displaced by a catastrophe of this sort and, to be honest, I had little faith in a government entity to concoct a viable solution. I just didn't see how they could reach an agreement much less one that would actually benefit the student body and their families. After last night I have to say I am beyond impressed with this team of administrators and teachers.

When I watched 9/11 unfold from the comfort of my living room I sat in awe of the way people whose lives would typically never cross could come together in the face of a crisis. People are really able to put aside their differences and normal barriers for the common good. It's the "human spirit", isn't it? The aftermath of this fire has proven that time and time again. Within 24 hours of the tragedy we received an email from the school announcing their interim plan to get the kids back to school by Thursday. Unfortunately they would not all remain together but they were able to keep them in their respective grades at three separate schools. We were to attend a meeting for parents and students at the high school to have our questions answered. in simply entering the auditorium, the love and support was palpable. Standing room only. Tears flowing. Hugs offered freely. I thought: "now this is community." Each school official spoke one by one and explained the different facets of the plan from transportation to replacing personal property to the hope of rebuilding the 106 year old structure. When the school's principal took a breath and said "I can get through this" followed by a cracking voice and then tears it became obvious that this wasn't just a job to any of them. They were invested in this community and these children. They had been working tirelessly to devise a plan. One that would retain the school spirit and unity in spite of being separated. One that would insure each and every child felt welcome in their new surroundings. They left no stone unturned and no question unanswered.

I left there knowing it was all going to be OK and that God really does relish creating "beauty from ashes". As I heard story after story, and learned of upcoming fundraisers, I would love to share some of the highlights these last few days have held for our community.

The night of the fire my son's social studies teacher called every one of his students to see how they were doing. Called them personally!! He assured them that he and the other three teachers would do everything they could to keep their teams together.
We received an email from the principal asking us to assure our son that everything was going to be fine.
Three girls stood outside the school all day Sunday with a sign asking for donations to replace the teachers' lost supplies.
A seventh grade student organized a bake sale fundraiser for this Saturday at his mom's yarn store with all proceeds going to replace supplies.
Three sixth grade girls stood outside a local grocery store in the wind and rain yesterday and collected close to $1000 for the teachers.
On Veteran's Day (which is a school holiday) the local indoor sportsplex is donating their building for 2 hours. During this time the community is invited to bring supplies and monetary donations for re-stocking classrooms.
The PTSA was able to give each teacher a check last night from the overflow of donations they had already accepted in the past 5 days.
The YMCA and Boys' and Girls' club opened their doors to the students for free swimming and gym time.
The high school--where the eighth graders will be attending--already had a wing dedicated to the kids, classrooms set up and columns and signs replicating the front of the middle school building. They had even painted the walls with "Wildcat Wing" and a big sign saying "Welcome to your new home!"

Needless to say I want to shout it from the rooftops that we live in an amazing place. Oh, wait there is no roof. So for now this blog post will have to do. May it inspire you to invest in the community where you call home.

1 Comment »

I think God might be trying to tell me something

Friday, November 6, 2009

On Monday morning my husband told me "I feel like I have a hangover from life." I couldn't agree with him more. These past 60 days have held more activity and stress than I'd care to repeat. Some of it our doing. Some of it just a result of having boys' in sports, ahusband coaching and adapting to a new job, three kids in two schools and moving. Oh and let's not forget two bouts with the swine flu and three separate relapses of it. In the 9 weeks since school started, there has not been a full five days without a child home, an early dismissal, a family member's birthday or other commitments. Even when I've purposed to have an empty calendar, it hasn't happened.

As we trudged through September and October, I set my sights on November 3rd. This would be mark a week's beginning that held no practices, no games. We might even be able to spend all five nights at the dinner table together. Monday arrived. Oh, that's right, an end-of-season football party. Tuesday: "Mom can I please sub for the indoor soccer game at 5?" and "I thought we were going to get haircuts today." Wednesday: parent info meeting regarding the March mountain school trip. In my lovely, selfish PMS state, I whined "Will I ever get to be alone??" At 5:15 a.m. on Thursday morning it was determined: probably never.

As I awoke from my groggy state and lifted the phone to my ear, a recording on the other end informed me that classes were canceled at the middle school due to a fire. I stumbled to the computer and clicked on the local newspaper's website. It was a typical windy November night so I assumed a tree probably hit a circuit breaker and the building lost power. One day without school. No big deal. Wrong. This wasn't just a little fire in the basement. It was a full blown inferno. And it had been burning since 1 a.m. And 100 firefighters were on the scene.

So now as the district scrambles to relocate 600 middle schoolers, they also announced that the earliest students would return to school would be next Thursday the 12th. I do feel sad about this. It's where my son spends most of his life outside of home. He was having a fabulous 7th grade year. So many unanswered questions about his future schooling. But then I just have to laugh at the reality of it all. They'll eventually head back to class and then early dismissal for conferences the following two weeks. Then Thanksgiving. Then Christmas. I'm ready to just write this school year off. Might as well homeschool at this point. (I better be careful with that comment or it might come back to bite me.)

Last night I sat here thinking of my agenda again, I couldn't help but wonder if God might be actually saving me from myself. Hmmmm. Maybe He knows that--left to my own devices--I would become even more selfish than I already am. What if I did have an empty house and an empty calendar from 8:30-2:30 Monday through Friday? Would I use that time wisely or slowly fill it with meaningless activities? Would I look for ways to give or would my focus turn to getting instead? I think I know the answer already.

If you're interested in some pictures from the fire, here are a few that my "lookie-loo" husband snapped. Yes, he drove down there--with Quinn in tow, as soon as he heard the news.

COMMENTS: »

Happy Halloween

Sunday, November 1, 2009

There are a few stories behind this picture. Ben is "Achmed the Dead Terrorist without his turban. If you've ever seen the Jeff Dunham YouTube video then you know that Achmed is covered in black bomb residue. An 8 year old boy is more excited about fake blood. The turban was on initially but it got in the way of collecting as much candy in the shortest amount of time. I borrowed some 70's outfits from a girlfriend and added the wig, false eyelashes and earrings. Several people told me I actually resembled a 60's housewife--in particular Tom Hanks' wife in "Apollo 13" . I never saw the movie so I'm going to believe it was a compliment. (The cigarette was only for effect. I think my kids would have freaked out if I lit it up. And I would have choked to death.) Quinn is a geek/nerd. This was at 9:30 so the bowtie had seen better days. A slew of 12 year old boys got in the way of my annual group photo.

The intention was a garden gnome and everyone told him he looked the "Travelocity gnome".

He actually dressed like this for school on Friday. Classic.

1 Comment »

Say it isn't so...Ben is 8!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

How did this happen and where was I? Sweet little Benjamin has now been a permanent fixture in our family for almost a decade. When I saw the evidence on the ultrasound that yet another boy was coming our way, I did pause for a sad moment. I knew this would probably be our last child and, of course, I was hoping for a little pink this time around. This kid is all "blue", if you know what I mean. Not even coloring was enjoyable to him. Sitting? Forget about it. Once he became aware that two other boys had been living life in front of him, there was a lot of making up to do.

Although "busy" doesn't even begin to describe him, "loving and affectionate" do. Beneath his tough, active exterior is a sweet little guy who has no problem displaying his heart. He cries easily, laughs constantly and rebounds from any setback in record time. I know every mom says it, but I really could not imagine life without him. And even though his brothers may not be so quick to admit it, I don't think they could either.

In honor of his 8 years, I asked Ben to share 8 things he absolutely loves and his 8 favorite memories since the 7th birthday.

Ben's 8 Faves (not necessarily in order of importance):

Chocolate
Playing soccer
Jumping in water
Being with my friends
My family
Millie
Playing football
Going somewhere new

Top 8 Memories since October 28, 2008:

Celebrating his 7th birthday
Mountain biking with dad and brothers in Whistler, B.C.
Losing his first tooth
Visiting the Oregon coast for the first time
Doing his first back flip on dry land (sand dunes)
Finally being tall enough to go on the water slide at our local pool.
It being a "friend party year" and having his birthday celebration a week early.
Visiting the Great Wolf Lodge indoor water park.

Happy, happy birthday precious Benjamin Davis. I love you tons!

1 Comment »

Happy Birthday to Me!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

I just love birthdays! Even though I'm not in as much of a hurry for mine to come along as maybe when I was 9 or 10, I still do love them. So.....in honor of my 42nd birthday I'm going to share a list of "42 qualities I love about myself" . JUST KIDDING!

So what does the photo above have to do with my birthday? This charming little Bavarian village east of the mountains is where we'll be spending the weekend. The only item on my wish list this year was a sports-free weekend away with my whole family. Leavenworth is one of my most favorite places. You really do feel like you've been transplanted to the land of von Trapps and Maria will soon be running down the hills which will be "alive with the Sound of Music". This actually does happen in the summer ampitheater production but that's for a different post. This quaint town is also somewhere I have dreamed of having a second home. One of those gorgeous log cabins replete with a floor-to-ceiling river rock fireplace, a hot tub on the deck, overlooking the river of course and a 12 person dining table. Hey, if you're gonna dream, dream big. But for now I will settle for a two-night stay in a "Kamping Kabin" at the local KOA with a kitchenette (what exactly does that mean??) and outdoor fire pit. The last piece of advice on the website, after they describe the "kabin" as a palace, is: don't forget to bring your own linens.

I can't wait to be with those I love in a place I love on a day I love. Pictures on the next post.

2 Comments »

Ben's Birthday Ballapalooza

Monday, October 19, 2009

Even though his actual birthday isn't for another 9 days, we decided to play it safe and have Ben's friend party today. My kids only get a party on their even years. After today I am patting myself on the back for making that decision many birthdays ago. I can't imagine doing this three times a year. Especially when all three boys' special days fall within a four month time period--intertwined with all the major holidays.

Because the "friend party" only occurs every two years, the planning tends to begin 364 days prior to the big event. Ben's wish list ran the gamut of soccer , a bouncy house, ice skating, swimming and everything inbetween. With a good bit of prodding from me, we agreed on a "Ballapalooza" party. Keeping ten boys occupied for two hours --and not spending

I recruited the big brothers and two of Quinn's friends to assist me. Each one wore a jersey and a whistle and ran the game of their expertise in 20 minute increments. It was worth the price of admission.

"Team Green" prepares their offensive plan

The black team has total confidence in their defense. Look how relaxed they are.

So this is supposed to be cupcakes in the shape of a football. Hmmm. Looks more like a baseball mitt to me. Clearly the decorator was not a sports fan.

Do you really think it's possible for 15 boys to all look at the camera simultaneously?

COMMENTS: »

And they lived happily ever after

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Today we had the privilege of attending the union of this glamourous couple. Kurtis & Rose's love story is a modern day fairytale of which I got to have a sideline seat.

I met Rose about 18 months ago when she was a barista at my favorite Starbucks. Our customer/employee relationship soon turned into a friendship even with an age difference of 15 years. She became my hip younger sister who introduced this old lady to texting, my housesitter, dog sitter, movie watching companion and friend. Last fall when I went back to work, and she went back to school, our time together was less frequent. In late October I got a call saying, "we need to get together. Soon." I knew immediately. I called back and asked, "is it about a boy?" BINGO!

About a month later I finally met him and knew in an instant this guy was the real deal. He courted her with the kind of love and respect she had given up on ever thinking could happen in her lifetime. He did and said the kinds of things over the last year that made others say "Really? No way. This guy sounds too good to be true. Guys like this don't exist anymore" It was true and he does exist.

When I met Rose she was in a place of really seeking God and growing in her relationship with Him. She had a difficult childhood and never knew the stability of a traditional family. Change, upheaval and moving were the only constants she could count on. No more. God was about to redeem it all and I got to be part of it in a teeny tiny way.

Fast forward to July 3rd. Rose was housesitting for my neighbor and stopped by to ask a favor. Kurtis wanted to take her on a backcountry hike and she wasn't sure if she'd be back to water the lawn and feed the bunny. Would I mind doing that in her absence? Little did I know what that simple act was about to help Kurtis' plan. I checked in with Rose on the 4th to see if they were back and how the trip went. Her response: "AMAZING!!!" Uh-oh. She promised to stop by when she got back in town. When she walked in the house my eyes immediately went to her left hand and there it was. It wasn't just any old ring on her finger but the same one that adorned both his grandmother's and mother's hands. His grandmother got an anniversary upgrade just before his dad proposed to his mom. So his mom received this ring when she nd Kurtis' dad became engaged. The same thing happened when Kurtis' parents hit a significant anniversary. When Kurtis told his parents he planned to ask Rose to be his wife, they asked him if he would give her "the ring" as a symbol that she belongs in their family. Ahhh. Doesn't that just give you chills or tears? Or both?

Of course there are about a hundred other parts to the story as well but those are theirs to tell. I don't care what Fergie sings about, fairytales do sometimes have happy endings. There was no denying that today.

2 Comments »

Thank a coach today

Monday, October 5, 2009

Not even once since my kids were born has anyone looked at any of them and said "Wow, he's a big boy." No male relative exists on either side of our families who registers a height over six feet. So when my little Ian insisted he wanted to play tackle football, I cringed. (he just broke 70 pounds on his 11th birthday.) Eventually he broke me down and I caved. Once I observed a practice, I knew he was in good hands.

We've all watched kids (and sometimes our own children) suffer at the hands of unruly coaches. As with any subject that has the ability to provide worthy life lessons, there's always the one "bad apple" who seems to cancel out all the great ones. I'd been warned that football coaches were a different breed. A bunch of meatheads--or something like that. I am happy to report that Ian's coach is nowhere near resembling any of my fears coming to fruition. This guy rocks! He is a natural with those kids and LOVES what he's doing with them. I can't imagine a better scenario.

Below is an email he sent to all the parents following our first game:

Wow!

Heart! That is what wins games. Talent is nice, but the heart is what makes us great. Each player today worked extremely hard. Each player tried his best

You should be proud of yourselves!

Defense was amazing today. You really came through. The goal line stand was heart stopping. I heard one of the refs say, “This game is fun to watch; really exciting” That is special because they see games all the time.

Having said that . . . . We cannot let one game and one win change our work ethic at practice as we get ready for next week’s game. We will face many good teams and we need to stay focused.

Finally, we would not be the team we are if we did not have the parent support that we have. Parents, you are making the difference. Having dependable coaches, moms and dads on the sideline supporting the players no matter what is happening, parents who help every week communicate with other parents and take care of the paperwork is making the season successful. We are all blessed to have each other and I am happy that I can be a part of the team.

I can’t wait until Tuesday. We will talk about the game and talk about highlights, then we will get on with the job of working out hard for next Saturday.

Thank you everyone. You are amazing.

After reading that, don't you just love him too?? Coaches, like teachers, are a special breed. They put in hours upon hours that go unnoticed and never expect anything in return. Because they really and truly love what they do. So if you or your child has happened upon a coach like our Coach Darren, consider taking the time to drop him or her a note of gratitude. I know it will make their day.

COMMENTS: »